Kernel Indie Pale Ale Double Citra (9.8%)

A friend of mine told me that this beer has been made in 3D and he was right.
This beer is 3D in a special glasses that make things pop out of the TV at you kind of way.
It’s 3D in the same way that XTC’s “White Music” was 3D.
It’s angular , in your face, it jumps about with a manic grin whilst singing at the top of its voice.
It’s hyperactive and over friendly in a slightly scary way.
Kernel appear to have made, in some freakish laboratory that they call a brewery, a beer that has popped one too many happy pills, put on a dayglo orange vest and decided to use my face as a nightclub, with my tongue as the dancefloor.
This is a massive beer.
The malt acts as the bouncer, beefy and dense, not ready to take any nonsense and there to do a job.
And that job is to keep yobs out.
Unfortunately one has snuck in.
It’s Citra and it’s out of its brains and has got hold of a loudhailer.
Put another way, drinking this is a bit like drowning in a bath of your favourite childhood penny sweets while a bigger child dowses you in mango juice, tamarinds and sesame oil.
This beer is mental.
This beer is amazing.

About Simon Williams

Founder of CAMRGB. Member of The British Guild Of Beer Writers. Leftist bigmouth. Old and grumpy.
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